Presently, I'm in a state where chaos runs in my head. I'm almost turning out into this monster who is angry at anyone, including myself. I've used art as a weapon to show who is superior, but instead I have come to realize that I hate what I do. I feel that I'm always in a race. I do art not for expressing who I am, but I do what others want to see with my works.

I can't make works that reflect who I am trully. Now I don't know who I am. I'm frustrated that I can't find my path to contentment, to my piece of mind. Because of technology, new societies evolve that dictates you to hurry up. Productivity is the key to success, and success is what every man should stive for.

I want to have peace of mind. I want to do art again because I enjoy it. I want to do art again without releasing too much effort. In this world, I feel spaced out. I couldn't put together the pieces in my mind to focus on things. I couldn't breathe because I feel that I'm losing the race now matter how hard I try. I don't know myself anymore. My art reflects who I am: an amalgam of what I want to see. Now I do not see myself as an ecclectic, but rather, a polluted mind with a chameleon-like being.

I want to find myself. I wish I could find it somehow...